First off, I’m not sure about the term Alcoholism.  Its not a real medical term any more.  I think they use alcohol abuse disorder or something like that.  However, if that term is important to use for those in recovery, then by all means yes.   Own it, work on it and live it. 

It seems that we view an Alcoholic as a person whom has a disease where he or she cannot drink Alcohol responsibly.  Or rather has a problem regulating or stopping once they start drinking.  Ok fair enough.   

However if we follow a narrative that society puts on an Alcoholic.  It also likely includes a picture of someone whom lost everything.  Drinks in the morning, day and night.  Maybe homeless.  Maybe loud, angry, drinking out of brown bag on the streets, sort of thing. 

Or in a better light, an Alcoholic who is in recovery.  Going to 12 step programs. To work on their disease.  Working on their issues (which is such a incredible and vulnerable endeavor in my perspective).   However often still labeled as an Alcoholic. 

And in reality.  That’s fine.  If that’s what someone needs to do to get help.  I’m all game for it. 

I guess my point of this post after having gone Alcohol Free for over 2.5 years (and still going), is that I often get that question; Are you an alcoholic?  Or even more frustrating.  Dude, you aren’t an Alcoholic maybe you’re making too big of deal about this… 

The first time I was asked if I was an Alcoholic, I was caught off guard.  It was from a woman that I was sort of trying to date (right after a divorce and getting sober, mind you).  So I was really ripe with uncertainty.  When she asked, I gave a very genuine “I don’t know”. 

And I don’t.  I don’t know if I’m the type of person that can’t stop.  Or will drink 24 hrs a day.  Or will have withdrawals.  Shakes.  Live on the street or lose everything.  I’m just not sure.

I do know that in the past I did binge drink; I had a problem stopping when I started.  Got terrible hangovers, depression and anxiety.  Insomnia and cold sweats after a long weekend of drinking while trying to sober up on a Sunday night. 

I lost a lot too.  A marriage.  Money.  Lost goals.   And was losing my mental health, wrecking my physical health and continuing on that path was looking pretty gnarly. 

But wait, I wasn’t an alcoholic?  I didn’t wake up and drink every day.  I wasn’t living on the street.  I remember using that dialogue to keep convincing myself I wasn’t an Alcoholic.  That I just needed to control myself better.  And all would be ok.  Keep drinking. Your ok.  Your good. 

It was a cycle that I carried for years.  Like from college to my 40s…

But hey, at least I wasn’t an “Alcoholic” right…

Though looking back now.  And my observations from friends whom are struggling with similar issues.  I think this whole label of Alcoholism is actually perpetuating the problem. 

I mean there are those that have legit Alcoholism or addiction problems.  It’s terrible and I know a few.  So not trying to disregard that heaviness of that. 

Yet, somewhere in between there is another category.  It’s those that don’t have labeled Alcoholism, yet their tendencies are certainly leaning them in that direction.  Like I did, they struggle with stopping.  They struggle with cravings, withdrawal, hangovers, irritable behavior and more.  Though in their minds, and maybe in our culture they are not Alcoholics.   

So I’m calling Bullshit!  You don’t have to be an Alcoholic, to be an Alcoholic.  You don’t have to be a bum on the street drinking out of brown bag to be an Alcoholic.  And you don’t have to be in a recovery program to be an Alcoholic.  You can simply be the guy on the golf course that starts drinking on the turn and continues all day, neglecting family and duty.  Or the evening drinker that uses Alcohol to “distress” but wakes up with hangovers multiple times a week.  Or the weekend binge drinker.  The nightly wine mom.  There are so many examples.

Like I said, I’m not even sure if Alcoholic is the right term.  Who really cares?  If that label helps someone struggling. Then hell yeah! 

Lets just not use that label to dismiss other detrimental behavior that isn’t elevated to the level of quote Alcoholism.  Cause it likely is.  Or it’s coming…

For me.  I don’t know.  I’m pretty sure I don’t have to be an Alcoholic in our cultures view, to be an Alcoholic…

Here’s what I do know.  Alcohol was making me feel terrible in my life.  Depressed, anxious, tired, fat, and irritable.  Sad.  And yet, I still continued to repeat the cycle.  Maybe that should be the definition of Alcoholic.  Using Alcohol to try and feel good, despite feeling miserable when drinking.  And doing that over and over again…

If so, then we have a lot of Alcoholics living in denial…. Or maybe non-Alcoholics living in hell.   Heck maybe you don’t have to be. To be one…