I have a friend that is seriously struggling with her addiction.  It’s bad and really hard to see her go through such tragedy and self-destruction.  I feel for her and hope she finds her path.  I try to encourage her with daily text messages of support.  The majority of them don’t get a reply.  However she will give me the occasional thank you or nod to how much they mean to her.  It’s not much from me but I hope it helps a little…at the very least knowing she has a friend out there that is thinking about her.

 

Her alcohol troubles are much different then mine were, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have similar issues. Maybe we can share small victories that help us on our path to better living.   As we both move into alcohol free lifestyles (me 2 years, her I’m hoping day 1 today).

 

I met her through a ski team.  We had many familiar friends and contacts, as the ski culture is sort of a tribe.  She was a great skier, enthusiastic coach and vibrant women.  However one of the downfalls of mentioned ski culture is the nature of après skiing. Party hard, ski hard mentality. It was fun and curious as many learn early on in skiing.  The lifestyle, the mountains, the adrenaline, the energy, which then turns to the afternoon / evening drinks.  Finding a balance there can be difficult.

 

That’s where she got lost. Instead of enjoying the lifestyle she turned more into party then ski.  She went from cute blonde skier, to a drastically different person.  Becoming addicted to alcohol, everyday.  Gaining a ton of weight.  Bloated and red faced.  Losing jobs.  Unhealthy relationships.  Her kids  threatened to be taken away.  She is in a terrible, urgent situation.

 

We drifted apart in years past.  Me dealing with my own life challenges, and taking on the negative effects of alcohol as part of my self-betterment program.  We’d connect here and there.  Then she went dark.  And I knew that she was going into a bad zone.

 

Meanwhile, I had been reading a lot of self help books.  Listening to podcasts about sobriety, and putting together tools to keep me stoked on my lifestyle changes.

 

Many of these books suggest helping others as a way to help you.  Seems like sound advice.  But I didn’t really know who to help and felt sort of conflicted since I needed my own help. I certainly don’t want to bring my issues on anyone else.

 

I have always been trying to support my friend because she is a friend.  I have empathy for her situation.  It hurts to see.  I never really focused on trying to help her to help me.   But I can say it does help.  It helps me acknowledge the darkness this terrible addiction can cause. While trying to show by example to a friend that hopefully can see it.  It helps to send positive vibes her way via a text, a thought, a prayer.  And ultimately I hope more then anything that it helps her.

 

She is going into another rehab today.  This one is different though.  Not the fancy rehab centers of past.  This one is a hardcore, detox sober home.  It’s going to be heavy for her and she is scared.  I told her that she is stronger then she knows and being scared is good.  It means she is alive.  I said in ski terms, it’s like getting scared before you drop into a gnarly ski run. The adrenaline, the fear, the focus. Then you drop and all that turns into exhilaration.  It’s a challenge but it’s worth it.  I hope she finds that.  I hope she drops in, makes some turns and comes out grinning with a feeling of accomplishment, excitement and respect for what she is capable of.

 

In skiing we all take our tumbles, the key is getting back up and trying again.  In search of those epic turns and pure enjoyment of being alive!