A good buddy of mine gave me a nice compliment the other day.  A friend that has been very supportive of me.  Often inviting me over for dinner with his family or out for a round of golf.  A listening ear and some good advice as he had gone through his own life challenges.

 

More so, he is very impressed with both my decision and discipline to go alcohol free.  He tells me how cool that is and that he is proud of me.

 

Further, he mentioned that he likes this version of me more.  Explaining that before, when I was still drinking I had this edge.  A sort of dark edge.  Or aggressive edge. It wasn’t outwardly negative.  But it was there.  While now, he continued, I am  much more clear and calm.  Present.  Kind and compassionate.  Softer maybe but he believed i was a much more genuine person.

 

I took this as a nice observation.  What is more revealing is that I agree.  I hadn’t noticed it before, but looking back I totally understand.  Drinking put me into a weird zone.  I thought I was funny.  Sometimes loud.  Over talking and yes a lot of edge.  Likely because I was edgy.  Or on edge. Trying to maintain my drinking. How much, how little, when I could, when I couldn’t.  What I would feel like tomorrow.  What kind of hangover.  I had a fuck ton of edge.

 

I even see it in others. My buddies that are starting their journey of drinking into their 40s.  It starts to show.  They have edge.  They start to feel the booze more.  They have to figure out how to combine drinking with adult life.  With their bodies and the strange issues they start to get from many years of drinking.  They are edgy loud.  Or edgy not funny.  Or edgy about their family life, wife or friends.  Edgy about their work life.  Edgy aggressive.  And its obvious to me now being on the other side.

 

I’m stoked that my friend brought this to my attention.  Its nice to hear the benefits are seen from others.  He is cool to notice.

 

And you know what?  I may have lost that edge.  It was a sketchy edge.  It was a tense edge.  And gained a better edge.  The edge of being alcohol free!  I’ve gained an edge on many others.  Creating a more calm, caring, compassionate me. Less edge in one-way and more edge in another. i even feel like i’ve now got an extra edge on others and on life…