There have been so many great benefits that have come from going alcohol free. The list is long so here are a few; I wake up stoked! I’ve lost weight. I sleep way better. I feel way better. I do way more. I look younger. My body doesn’t ache. I save money. I eat better. I’m hydrated. I don’t feel guilty and shame from drinking. I am more social. I am more present. I have less stress or I handle stress better. I am calm, less irritable. I am more active. I read more. I write more. I have real emotions. I don’t waste days. I enjoy mornings. Also evenings. I am a better me. And most importantly, instead of hating me, I’m starting to really like me. I’m even proud of me.   Its kind of fun being different…

 

That said there are also some difficult times. I find it so strange how many friends that truly mean well hint that I should re consider my AF lifestyle. Telling me that I should just have some beers and mellow out. AS if I’m not mellow. Dude, I’m more chill then ever. Never the less, I get that often. Or my neighbor whom always offers me a glass of wine. Hoping I will say yes, then when I say no, she smiles and says I was joking.

 

I’d laugh if it wasn’t so annoying to hear. First off, would we say that about smoking or drugs? Hey bro, why don’t you mellow out and have a cig or shoot some smack. Or lighten up and smoke some weed, I’ve heard that plenty. They may argue that alcohol is so much less harmful then drugs, certainly more acceptable. But what they don’t know is how harmful it was becoming for me. So just a little night out or a few beers might cause severe depression, shame and guilt. Something I just don’t need right now, or ever…

 

Further, in society, we are constantly bombarded with commercials, marketing, advertisements that associate booze with happiness. Pretty girls, parties, good times. Which I would question. I’d say for a few it might equate to that. But for many this leads to unhealthy lifestyle, bad decisions, and dependency. I’ve seen and made my share of poor choices with alcohol, but I don’t see that in marketing campaigns. Beer goggles, trouble with the law, saying the wrong things, fuck they could do a whole campaign on bad alcohol related behavior at Holiday Parties alone.

 

Then comes the judgment. I told a recent friend, whom I haven’t known for all that long, that I don’t drink anymore. Her face changed, she got serious and said something like oh I’m sorry I didn’t realize you had a problem. Are you an alcoholic? She didn’t mean any harm from this.  But I found the reaction telling. First, don’t be sorry.  I’m stoked not being fat, tired and hungover anymore.  I smiled; yeah it was kicking my ass so I stopped fighting it.   More recently I mentioned a night out I had and first thing she said was I thought you weren’t drinking… I’m not, but I still go out at night…I said with a cheeky smile and shake of the head.

 

Or when merely telling someone that you stopped drinking and it’s been really helpful for you. They quickly get irritated thinking you are trying to preach to them about their issues. I see that often. The topic comes up, typically when ordering drinks with friends at a social gathering. I try not to bring attention and ask for a soda water and lime. Then someone asks about the not drinking thing. I mention something about how it’s been nice and soon come the weird vibes… Like I won’t be fun to hang with. Or stay away from that guy, he has a problem with alcohol… Or I’m projecting. By not drinking?  Feels like I’m being judged for trying to take on a unhealthy habit of mine. Its crazy. Look, I’m just trying to be kind to myself. Its not easy being around a ton alcohol, in an alcohol crazed society. With most of my friends drinking. Yet I am the one feeling vibed???  Strange.

 

Sometimes I’ll get, the good for you bro. Followed by the, I took a month off once and it was great. As if we are on the same program. Or proving to me that the month off shows they don’t have an issue with drinking. When really I don’t care. I’m just trying to work on me. And enjoy this tasty soda water with lime.

 

I also like the I only drink on weekends. Or I hardly drink anymore either comments. Again, no worries from me. I’m just chilling out, can I get another Near beer please…

 

In addition, when others see me drinking a NA beer, I get judged as someone with a problem. Why would anyone ever drink a beer without alcohol is the common joke? I smile, and try to manage my own night.

 

The humor, or more so sadness, is when the night progresses. Their fun often turns and looks like hurt or false emotions. Maybe I’m judging that. But I keep it to myself. Usually leaving before it gets rowdy.   Happily driving home sober and offering others a ride.

 

Then comes some good judgment. Lately, I’ve had a fair amount of friends come back to me, via a text or talk at a work event. Asking honestly about my alcohol free lifestyle. Some that have started it themselves. Even telling me that I inspired them. Or others asking for advice, which I gladly share. That judgment of asking for help or coming to me, I take on happily.

 

I just find it interesting. Lots of judgments out there just by the simple fact of me ordering a drink (that’s non alcoholic). Fair warning to others going into the AF lifestyle. My advice is to own it. Take it on. Feel and be stoked that you are different. Be kind and understanding.  Also be strong and focused. I don’t want anyone to slip up in a moment when a friend pressures you to have a shot or beer.   43 and I still get a pure pressure. Isn’t that funny. No means no bro!

 

Anyways, my little observation this week. Sober and stoked!